Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold! or Sailormoon. Hey Arnold! is owned by Nickelodeon and created by Craig Bartlett. Sailormoon is owned/created by Naoko Takeuchi.
Note: For the sake of clarity, whenever a character is in their transformed state, their name will be given in italics.
For example:
Helga G. Pataki = Helga
Sailor Moon = Helga
It was early evening. Arnold was in his room, sitting at his computer desk and doing his homework. He was just about to ponder the third problem of his math assignment, when he detected the faint sound of tapping from up above.
Arnold tensed. He was aware of the recent string of burglaries happening within the city—one had taken place right in his neighborhood—but so far none of the victims had ever confronted the culprit. Maybe the burglar was getting more daring?
Whatever the case, Arnold wasn't about to take any chances. He stealthily grabbed the baseball bat leaning against the side of his computer desk, then scaled the foothold on his angled wall leading to the windowed section of his ceiling.
The tapping persisted, and he could scarcely make out the outline of a body in the dark on the other side. Gripping the bat tightly, Arnold pushed open the window; almost immediately, someone had jumped through the opening straight into his room. This caught Arnold off-guard, and he lost his footing and fell to the ground below.
Arnold groaned as he lay on his back in the center of the floor. Slowly he opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was a young girl staring back at him, her blonde pigtailed hair so long that it was actually touching his face as she looked down at him.
The girl shook her head and smirked. "Swept off your feet again, huh? We've got to stop meeting like this."
---
Arnold and Helga sat together on the roof of Sunset Arms. It was an exceptionally clear night, and a few stars dotted the sky to keep the full moon company.
Arnold looked to his companion. "It's been a while," he said.
Helga nodded in agreement. "I know. Too long."
"I've missed you, Sera."
For a brief second, Helga was confused that he called her by that name, then she remembered that was the alias she had given him when they had first met two years prior. She had rescued him from a gelatinous monster and brought him back home in the hopes that she could uncover his secret identity. Perhaps this time, thought Helga, her endeavor would prove more fruitful...
"So what have you been up to?" Helga snapped back to reality when she realized she felt Arnold's inquiring eyes on her. She looked away tentatively.
"Oh...you know..." she mused. "I've been around..."
"I haven't seen you in over a year," replied Arnold, who then faintly smiled. "Are you still on a mission to 'protect the planet'?"
It was now Helga's turn to smile. "Well, it is a full-time job..." she turned to look at Arnold. "You humans are such droll creatures."
Arnold laughed. "No argument there." He then sobered a bit and looked up toward the sky. "What's it like to do what you do? Are you ever scared?"
"Nah, I'm not afraid. I've got a pretty good team behind me," Helga was surprised to hear herself admit. She was almost afraid that Arnold would question her on the existence of even more supernatural girls roaming the city, but he was already on his next thought.
"Are you ever worried about getting...hurt?"
Helga took her time to answer. It had crossed her mind, especially now since the creatures they encountered seemed more aggressive than the ones in the past. But she couldn't tell Arnold that – no need to unnecessarily worry him. She waved her hand nonchalantly. "Nah. This is nothing."
Arnold seemed relieved. He gripped his knees close to his chest and sighed. "So...what brings you back to the neighborhood?"
"Actually, Arnold...:" she brushed away the hair in her face and looked at him earnestly. "I decided to stop by because...I miss you, too. I decided I want to spend more time with you." And I want to know why you constantly rescue me in a tuxedo and cape.
Arnold turned red. "I'm still not sure why you've chosen me," he said. "I'm nothing special."
Oh, I beg to differ, thought Helga. And if I hang around with you long enough, you're bound to slip up eventually. You WILL reveal your secret to me, Arnold...
Meanwhile, in another part of the city, two potential lovebirds were making their way home. Stinky escorted a blonde-haired girl in a pink sleeveless dress to her front porch.
"Here we are, Miss Gloria," drawled Stinky in his trademark country accent. "I sure hope the night was agreeable with you..."
Gloria smiled. "I had a wonderful time. Thank you, Stinky."
Stinky rubbed the back of his neck. "You ain't supposin'...we might be able to do this again? Say...next week?"
"I'd like that," and she footnoted the agreement by kissing Stinky lightly on the cheek. "Have a good night."
Stinky beamed. "G-good night, Miss Gloria..." He staggered away, drunk with bliss.
Gloria entered the empty household and made her way up the staircase to her bedroom. She only scaled half of steps when she felt a sensation akin to an electric jolt shiver down her spine. Her vision blurred momentarily as she saw the image of some foreign object flash in front her eyes.
"No...not again...please..." Gloria leaned against the banister and held her head with both her hands. She knelt down on the steps and tried desperately to will the ever-mounting pain into submission. But her efforts were in vain; darkness swept in, swarming her senses and making her lose all sense of reality.
Helga waved as she bid Arnold farewell and hopped off Sunset Arms, onto one of the rooftops of the adjacent buildings. She was no closer to finding out Arnold's alleged intentions, but she was happy with the amount of time she was able to spend with him in the process.
She landed on a roof with a skylight for a ceiling and heard a loud crash. At first Helga had thought she had inadvertently broke one the windows when she landed on it in her high heel shoes —those things were weapons in and of themselves—but then she noticed a peculiar sight below her.
The room underneath the skylight was dark, but in the glare of the moonlight, Helga swore she saw someone stealthily lurking about. She then recalled Patty mentioning her mother's stolen heirloom during their last meeting. Could she have chanced upon the elusive Hillwood bandit?
Several minutes later, the trespasser quietly exited the house and crept down the steps leading into a narrow alley. It was pitch black in the alley, save a few overhead lamps dotting the walls of adjacent buildings. In the trespasser's hands was a medium-sized satchel, which was slung over their shoulders.
The figure froze suddenly, startled to find Helga blocking their getaway.
"Going somewhere?"
The figure took a step back, and Helga took a step forward in retaliation. "Not very nice to take other people's belongings without their permission. What do you say you turn right back around and return those stolen items? HEY!"
Helga ducked just in time to avoid getting hit by the swung satchel, which gave the robber ample time to make their escape.
"You're not going anywhere, bucko!" she removed her tiara and chucked it at her target. It sailed true, hitting the perpetrator square in the back of the head, causing them to fall to the ground directly underneath one of the overhead alley lamps, sending the bag flying. The tiara obediently boomeranged back into Helga's waiting hand.
Helga cautiously approached the suspect, who made no attempt to get up and flee again. Helga went for the bag, but when she opened it, she wrinkled her nose in confusion.
"Beans? What kind of nutjob risks their life for a bunch of lousy cans of beans?"
The person moved into the light so that Helga could get a good look at her, causing her to gasp in disbelief.
"No way..."
Lila moved her red hair away from her face and downcast her tear-filled eyes in shame.
"What were you thinking?" scolded Helga harshly. "Didn't you realize you'd get caught eventually?"
Helga was interrogating Lila as she sat on a closed trashcan. The way the street lamp washed its bright lights on her made it look like a scene out of a cop drama.
"Well, I hope you're ashamed of yourself!"
Lila said nothing, merely nodding her head.
"Do you have anything you have to say for yourself? Want to confess to any other crimes while you're at it? Face it, I caught you redhanded!"
"You're right," replied Lila, finally breaking her silence. She wrung her hands and sighed. "I'm so sorry...For everything. I never meant to hurt anyone..."
"So what made you do it?"
"We've been having a rough time..." explained Lila hesitantly. "Daddy lost his job and he's been struggling to find a new one. It's been hard making ends meet, paying the bills, keeping food on the table. I wanted to help any way that I could, but I was too young to get any sort of job..."
"So you robbed people of their belongings," Helga finished curtly.
"This was the only time, I swear!" Lila defended, looking up with tears cascading down her cheeks. "I didn't take anything valuable! Tonight, we were low on food, and I was just so HUNGRY..."
At that moment, Lila broke off into sobs. But Helga was not a harbinger for sympathy.
"I can't believe you!" yelled Helga, barely masking the incredulity that peppered her voice. "Just what would your father say?"
Lila looked to Helga with panic-stricken eyes. She grabbed onto Helga tugged hysterically. "Please don't tell my daddy! If he knew what I was doing...why...he would be ever-so devastated!"
Lila buried her face in Helga's chest, bawling. As she continued to cry, a wicked smile crept upon Helga's face. At long last, she had some dirt against Miss Perfect! She was going to use this to her full advantage. Helga grinned mischievously, figuring out the perfect way to exact her revenge.
Helga grabbed the groveling Lila by the shoulders and pushed her away.
"Criminy, all right...lay off the waterworks!" Lila looked up at Helga in surprise. "I'll let you off the hook...THIS time."
Lila's eyes brightened. "You will? Oh, thank you, thank you ever so much...!"
"Yeah, yeah," continued Helga. "Don't thank me yet – you still haven't heard my conditions."
Lila obeyed and wiped away the rebellious tears from her red eyes, then nodded eagerly. "I'll do whatever you say..."
"Keep this under your bonnet," said Helga. "But I'm friends with a one Helga G. Pataki. She taught me everything I know. Anyway, if you don't want me blabbing your little secret to the world, then as a favor to me, you'll do everything that Helga tells you to do. Be her doting servant. Think you can handle that?"
"Of course! Oh...I can't thank you enough!" Lila bolted out of the alley. When she was out of sight, Helga turned and rubbed her hands together hungrily.
"Heh, this is gonna be fun..."
The air was alive with curiosity the next morning in Mr. Frank's classroom. Just before the morning bell, Helga was trailed by Lila, carrying several stacks of books in her hands.
Lila stood beside Helga's desk as she sat down in her seat. "Is there anything else I can get for you, Helga?"
Helga waved her off nonchalantly. "This is good, thanks. I'll call you when I need you."
As Lila returned to her desk, Phoebe eyed her friend suspiciously.
During lunchtime, the situation was similar. Lila carried Helga's tray and paid for her meal. When they were sitting, Helga frowned.
"Uh, Lila..." she said. "Aren't you forgetting something...?"
"Wha...oh! I'm ever-so sorry!" Lila ran to a nearby vending machine and put in some coins to dispense a bottle of Yahoo! soda. Then she set it before Helga, who loudly cleared her throat.
Lila clued in and ran across the cafeteria again, this time returning with a bendy straw. She opened the Yahoo! and placed one end of the straw in the drink and another to Helga's lips so that she could drink.
After a few sips, Helga waved her off again. "This is good for now. Go eat—you'll need your strength for later."
Lila nodded and walked away. The other girls at Helga's table eyed her warily.
"What?" asked Helga defensively.
"Gee, Helga, you sure you didn't need her to chew your food for you, too?" asked Rhonda sarcastically. "Why is she doing all this stuff for you anyway?"
"Let's just say that I've got some collateral on Miss Perfect that I intend to exploit to its full potential..." Helga said cryptically, taking a bite from her meal.
"Sounds to me like you're taking advantage of her," Phoebe said, accusingly.
Helga swallowed her meal and shrugged. "Tomato, To-mah-to."
In another area of the cafeteria, Arnold had watched the whole scene unfold, and simply shook his head.
---
After school, Lila trailed behind Helga as she blathered off her laundry list of demands.
She struggled to listen, as she was weighed down by not only her own backpack but the contents of Helga's as well.
"...and on Saturday you can come over and clean my house. Don't forget to wash the windows, both inside and out...oh, and I think the front of the house could use a fresh coat of paint..."
"Helga...can I say something...?"
Helga turned to look at her indentured companion. "Don't tell me you're having second thoughts?"
"No, no...I'm happy to do these things for you...it's just that...your friend...the one that caught me the other night...she seemed to be involved in something ever-so serious."
"Yeah, so?"
"Well...I was just wondering...maybe I can often her some assistance...?"
Helga sighed loudly. "Lila, Lila, Lila...I appreciate your concern, I really do...but this is something you couldn't possibly understand. Leave it to the professionals, okay?"
"But, Helga..."
"I'll see you bright and early, tomorrow." And with that, Helga ended the conversation by entering her house and slamming the door behind her.
Not too long afterwards, there was a knock on her door. Helga went to answer it, and was surprised to see Arnold waiting on the other side.
"Arnold! What are you doing here?"
"Hi, Helga – mind if I come in?" Helga shook her head, and Arnold walked inside. "We need to talk."
Helga's heart skipped a beat. Could this be it? Was Arnold finally going to confess his secret identity to her?
But that hope was quickly dashed as soon as Arnold opened his mouth. "It's about Lila."
Helga hid her disappointment with a haughty scowl. "What about her?"
"I've noticed the way you've been treating her lately...it isn't right."
Helga scoffed. "Yeah? I'm in my rights. Besides, if Lila knows what's good for her, she'll keep being my slave, or the whole school will know her big secret."
Arnold's eyes widened. "You know about that?"
"You bet your tiny blue hat I do. And I intend to milk this bit of information for all that its worth. She's had it so good for so long; I'm just leveling the playing field."
"Hey! Listen to me!" Arnold got her attention by grabbing onto her arm forcefully. "Now look – I don't know how you found out, but you really should respect her privacy. No one needs to know about this."
"No one needs to know?" Helga was flabbergasted. "Explain that to her victims!"
Arnold's eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about Little Miss Perfect as Hillwood's public enemy number one! The infamous criminal that's been robbing this city blind. But of course you already knew that. You two have been spending so much time together, I'm sure she's told you all about her schemes."
"She's been spending time with me because she might not have a place to stay! If her father doesn't find a job soon, she's going to lose her home. In the meantime, I've been trying to assure her that she could move into Sunset Arms should worse come to worst."
"...Oh." Helga was taken aback by this new information. She certainly wasn't expecting THAT.
"Listen to yourself, Helga! You've watched the news! You've seen how impossible a lot of those capers were! Do you really think Lila would be capable of that?"
Helga opened her mouth to respond, but then paused. He had a point. Some of the buglaries involved bypassing some of the most advanced, state-of-the-art equipment, the prizes being worth millions of dollars. And yet all she had found on Lila was a couple cans of beans. It didn't quite add up.
But, if Lila wasn't responsible for all the recent crimes...then who was?
Helga didn't feel like figuring this out at the moment. She ripped her arm out of Arnold's hands. "Get your hands offa me, football-head," she snapped coldly. "And I want you out of my house. It's none of your beeswax how I treat Lila."
"It isn't right, He—" Helga slammed the door in Arnold's face. Arnold angrily stormed home. Helga meanwhile leaned against her wall.
As shameful as it was, Helga did a little victory dance inside. So they WEREN'T going out! Arnold was just a sympathetic shoulder for Lila to cry on!
But then she felt guilty. Here she was, happy for her own selfish reasons, when Lila was in genuine trouble...
Maybe Arnold was right, and Lila wasn't the one responsible. Then again, the evidence was there, she had caught Lila in the act. And yet, Lila had insisted on that being a one-time offense...
Helga slammed her fist on the wall; she didn't know what to believe anymore.
Diana and the scouts were to comb the city for any suspicious activity that evening, but Helga decided to take a quick detour before meeting up with the others. She stopped on the roof of Sunset Arms. Maybe as Sera, Arnold would be more willing to reveal what he knew about Lila's situation. For her sake, she had to know the truth.
Helga saw that Arnold was in his room, lying on his bed and listening to music. She was just about to rap her knuckles against the windows on the roof, when the door to Arnold's room opened. Arnold sat up on the bed and Helga backed away from the window, lest the new person enter and spot her.
"Phone for you, Shortman!" called a voice obviously belonging to Arnold's Grandpa.
Arnold removed his headphones, got off the bed and exited the room. Helga used the opportunity to infiltrate the room by quickly sliding through one of the open windows.
Sunset Arms' only telephone was located on the second floor of the building, in the hallway leading up to the space that was Arnold's room. Helga quietly tiptoed over to the door and silently peered down below. All she could see were Arnold's feet on the lower level, but she could hear that he was talking to someone on the phone.
"Hello?" answered Arnold. "Oh, hi Mr. Sawyer...." there was silence as he listened to the person on the other line. "...no, Lila never came by the boarding house today...she hasn't come home?...I see...I'll let you know if I hear from her...goodbye...."
Arnold hung up the phone. For a while, he didn't budge from where he was standing.
A sense of dread crept upon Helga. Lila was missing? She bit her finger. "Criminy...what have I done...?" She quickly exited the room before Arnold returned.
Lila's father was at his wits' end when he got off the phone with Arnold. He realized that he hadn't been home very often for his daughter—searching for a new means of steady income was a full-time job in and of itself —but he wasn't totally imperceptive of Lila's strange behavior. Normally she was open to him about anything, but as of late she was very tight-lipped, very secretive. Now his suspicions that something was wrong were definitely confirmed; Lila never went out without notifying him of her whereabouts, especially after dark.
He was considering calling another one of Lila's friends (or even the police) when the phone suddenly rang. With bated breath, Mr. Sawyer quickly picked up the phone, his heart beating violently. "H-hello? Lila, honey, is that you?"
At first, there was no response on the other end. But then a girl's voice (not Lila's) answered him. "Come to 23rd and Maple immediately if you wish to see your daughter." Click.
Mr. Sawyer dropped the phone. He didn't even bother returning it to the receiver; he was already halfway out the door by the time it had hit the floor.
"Nothing here, Di," said Rhonda into her watch communicator. It was the middle of the night in the city, the perfect time for the senshi to comb Hillwood for any suspicious characters.
"How about you, Phoebe?" called out Diana.
Phoebe was busy scanning the south side of the city. She logged in her reply. "All clear here, Diana."
"Good. Let's all meet behind the pet store in the middle of town – excellent work, girls!" praised Diana. She was flanked by both Helga and Patty on either side.
Helga was notably quiet for the remainder of the evening, and rightfully so. Her mind was preoccupied with guilty thoughts about the whereabouts of Lila. Not only that, her fellow teammates were still disgusted with the way she had treated Lila earlier at school, and had decided to give her the cold shoulder.
Eventually, Diana took notice of Helga's behaviour and addressed it. "Are you alright, Miss Helga? You've been awfully silent lately."
At last, the guilt had finally gotten to Helga and she broke down. "I can't take it anymore!"
"Miss Helga?"
"Call the rest of the girls back. There's something important I have to tell them."
Later that evening, the four scouts converged in front of the scene of Lila's crime as Helga told them the whole story.
"Poor Lila," sighed Phoebe after hearing Helga's story. "I hope she's alright..."
"So, what should we do?" asked Patty.
"Well, what are your thoughts, Miss Helga?" asked Diana.
Helga looked at her teammates. "I think...we should try to find her and bring her back. Whatever's going on in Lila's head, it sounds like she's in trouble. It sounds like she might need our help."
Diana nodded in agreement, but Rhonda simply scoffed. "Oh please – I think you're just feeling guilty for how rotten you've been treated her. If anything, you're partly responsible for her running off."
"That's enough, Rhonda," snapped Phoebe.
"No...no she's right," sighed Helga. "I have been antagonizing Lila for spending time with Arnold. Consider this my way of making amends."
"OK, but we still don't know how to find Lila," remarked Rhonda.
"That's right," added Phoebe. "Theoretically, she could be anywhere."
"Well, I suppose we could retrace her steps from where she was last seen," suggested Diana.
As the others tried to plot out their next move, Helga quietly separated herself from the group. When she was enough of a distance away to no longer distinctly hear their banter, she closed her eyes and began concentrating. Concentrating until...
"What's up with Helga?" asked Rhonda.
The girls turned to see Helga kneeling to the ground. Initially they thought she was in pain; Phoebe immediately came to her side.
"Helga!"
"Miss Helga, are you alright?"
But Helga got back up and gave her head a quick shake before looking to the group. "Yeah, I'm fine, but..."
"But what...?"
"I think I know where Lila is."
A taxi had dropped Mr. Sawyer off in front of his intended destination. As the vehicle sped away, he looked apprehensively at the large sign looming overhead: DinoLand.
The prehistoric amusement park had certainly seen better days. Once a popular preteen hotspot, DinoLand had since gone out of business and stood neglected on the outskirts of the city, an extinct shell of its former self and dominant glory.
Mr. Sawyer entered the park grounds and looked about, his eyes darting to and fro for any sign of his daughter. The air was eerily still as he walked through the midway and concession area; eventually he stopped in front of a large Ferris wheel. Suddenly the lights on the Ferris wheel flashed on. Mr. Sawyer looked up and gasped. There, on one of the uppermost rungs of the ride, a young girl stood imposingly. It was a blonde girl, wearing what looked like a sailor scout uniform, only that it was devoid of any colour; the bow and trimmings were all black. Covering the girl's eyes and obscuring most of her face was a black half-mask. What caught Mr. Sawyer's eye, however, was that she held an unconscious Lila in her arms.
"Lila...!" Mr. Sawyer took another step toward the Ferris wheel. To his horror, the sailor in black responded by tossing Lila like a piece of garbage, letting her plummet to ground below.
Mr. Sawyer desperately ran to break her fall, even though he knew full well he wouldn't be able to reach her in time. Suddenly a figure in green zipped through the air, catching the falling dead weight. Mr. Sawyer watched as the figure returned to the ground. It was Patty, with Lila cradled safely in her arms.
Before he could ask any questions, Patty handed his daughter back to him. "It's dangerous here. Get out of here while you still can."
Mr. Sawyer nodded and hastily made his retreat.
The other scouts stood behind Patty and looked at their opponent.
"Who's this imposter?" scoffed Helga.
Rhonda squinted. "It kinda looks like...yeah...I think that's Gloria..."
Helga looked at Rhonda. "Gloria? Who's Gloria?"
"You know, Stinky's new girlfriend; she's all he ever talks about when he isn't rambling on about lemon pudding. She goes to P.S. 119. Nice girl. Came to my house one time trying to sell those putrid Campfire Lass cookies."
Phoebe scanned the situation with her visor. "Odd...it doesn't look like she's been changed. Though that mask she's wearing is awfully suspicious – I think she may be under some sort of mind control."
"Be careful, girls" advised Diana. "If she hasn't been changed into a monster, your attacks can cause her physical harm. You'll have to apprehend her without using your powers."
The black scout leapt the ground and the others quickly circled around her. Patty immediately came up from behind her and grabbed her by the arms; oddly enough, she did little to resist.
"Don't worry, Gloria, we'll have you back to normal in no time." Helga pulled out her moon wand; only then did Gloria struggle against Patty's grasp.
"Moon Healing Escalation!"
The light of the wand had fell upon Gloria, but had no effect; rather it seemed to make her even more aggressive. She gut-checked Patty with her foot, then grabbed her and threw her over her shoulder, right into Phoebe, knocking them both to the ground. She then turned to Rhonda.
"Stay back!" warned Rhonda, taking a defensive pose. She whipped out her compact mirror and opened it. There was a flash of light, but it merely bounced off Gloria's mask and reflected back to Rhonda, blinding her. Rhonda covered her eyes with her eyes and recoiled to the ground.
Helga was the last one left standing. "That's it! I'm through being nice – time to take you down!"
She charged at Gloria, and the two sparred for a bit. Eventually, Helga was bested; Gloria swept her leg and she fell hard to the ground. She then walked away.
Diana looked at her fallen team and ran over to Helga.
"Miss Helga! Are you alright? Say something!"
Helga groaned. "Anyone have an ace up their sleeve that I can borrow? Because I just got mine handed to me."
"Miss Helga, it's the black scout – I think she's going after the other girl and her father!"
Mr. Sawyer was breathing heavily as he ran at full tilt towards the exit. Suddenly, his path was cut off by the black scout.
He froze; at the same time, Lila was coming to. She blinked and looked about in confusion. "Huh? Where am I? Daddy...what's going on?"
Mr. Sawyer let his daughter stand on her own two feet. "Stay back, honey." He stood between her and the scout in black. "I won't let her get you."
The black scout approached them slowly, but Mr. Sawyer held his ground. When she was only a few feet from them, the black scout had raised her hand, directing a black wave of energy toward Mr. Sawyer.
Mr. Sawyer held up his arms in a futile attempt to stave off the unexpected attack, but he was eventually knocked off his feet and sent flying into one of the gaming booths on the midway.
Lila immediately came to her father's aid. He was knocked out cold. The black scout came ever closer; Lila stood between them, her arms outstretched and acting as a barrier.
"I'm not going to let her harm my Daddy!"
The scout smirked and came closer. Lila closed her eyes out of fear. Suddenly, a bright orange light emanated from Lila's body. This caught the attention of the black scout, who paused apprehensively.
With the accuracy of a laser, a beam shot out from the light and struck the black scout, causing her head to jerk back. The black mask flew off her face, and in an instant, her sailor uniform vanished, and Gloria was changed back to normal.
When Lila had opened her eyes again, Gloria was on the ground, and the bright orange light converged, then congregated into a small concentrated area in front of Lila, revealing an orange henshin pen. Lila instinctively grabbed for the item, and in an instant, a dramatic transformation had taken place. Her old overalls were swapped for a sailor uniform with an orange motif, her dirty sneakers replaced with orange heels, a bright red bow perched atop her head. Most notable of all, her trademark red hair had changed; it danced as though it were aflame, then magically extinguished into a golden blonde.
When the other scouts had finally arrived on the scene, they were struck in awe to see this strange new scout in orange, visibly shaken, standing over her father and looking horribly confused.
When Gloria regained consciousness, she was an immense ball of guilt, and she prostrated herself before the Helga and Diana.
"So...all this time, YOU were the infamous Hillwood bandit," Helga realized.
Gloria bowed her head in shame. "Yes. But... I had no control over my actions, I swear!"
"I know," said Helga coolly. "You were under the control of that mask you were wearing."
Gloria placed a hand on her head as she attempted to recollect. "It's all so hazy. I would get these strange visions of a crystal lamp, then I would black out. Sometimes I would wake up in this secluded area, surrounded by expensive jewelry...and then the next morning I'd hear about a burglary on the news..."
At the mention of the lamp, Diana's ears perked up. "Might you recall the location of the lamp? It is of great importance to us."
Gloria looked at Diana. "That cat just spoke."
"Who, Diana?" Helga shrugged. "Yeah, it comes as a shock at first, but you get used to it. Eventually you learn to even tune her out."
Gloria just resolved herself to the absurdity of the situation and simply shook her head. "At this point, I'm willing to believe anything. I'll even take you to the place where all the missing items are being held. I'm willing to keep your secret, just promise you won't tell anyone what I've done. Especially Stinky."
"All right," agreed Helga. "It's a deal."
Meanwhile, the other scouts were gathered around their newest member. Rhonda ran her fingers through Lila's golden hair in awe.
"I can't believe it!" she said. "Your hair is gorgeous! And I think I still see a few strands of red in there! I'm so jealous – all I got was a hair clip!"
Helga rolled her eyes. "Criminy. Even as a sailor scout she has to upstage me..."
Lila blushed. "I'm still not sure what's going on, but I'm happy to help out!"
"Don't worry," said Diana. "We'll explain everything. In the meantime, get acquainted with your new teammates. Jupiter and I will return your father back home."
Patty carried Mr. Sawyer on her back and both she and Diana walked away from the group. When they were out of earshot, Diana spoke.
"Miss Patty, how much do you know about this girl?"
"Who, Lila? Not much; she's not in my grade. I just know that she moved to the city about two years ago."
"Interesting..." Diana's tail whipped vigorously back and forth as she was deep in thought.
"What?"
At first, Diana said nothing, merely watching as Lila laughed freely with the other girls; then she turned to Patty and smiled.
"Nothing," replied Diana. "We should get going."
Diana leapt on her shoulder; Patty made a running start and then leapt away from the area with her cargo in tow.
Gloria kept the old train station as her secret hideout repository for the stolen jewels.
As they sifted through the items, Rhonda pulled out a familiar-looking heirloom.
"I think I know someone who'll appreciate getting this back," smiled Rhonda.
"I promise to return all of the stolen treasures," said Gloria. "I'll just go to the police station and say that I found them by chance; they'll never suspect a 12 year-old girl to be capable of so many thefts."
"So where is the lamp?" asked Helga.
"What? You mean...it's not sitting where I left it?"
Gloria looked in the spot where she alleged to keep the lamp and frowned. "That's strange. I'm the only one who knows about this hideout. Why would someone take the lamp and nothing else?"
"I don't think anyone took the lamp," replied Helga.
"What do you mean?" asked Rhonda. "So, what – the lamp just got up and left on its own?"
Obviously Rhonda was joking, but the way Helga and Phoebe looked at each other, she suddenly realized she that wasn't off the mark as she initially thought.
Wolfgang and his best friend Edmund were at the dump, the regular hangout for the seniors of P.S. 118. Wolfgang pushed Edmund, who had tripped over a crystallized object.
"Hey Wolfgang, check this out," said Edmund, holding up the item which glittered even without the aid of light.
"Lemme see that!" yelled Wolfgang as he snatched it out of his friend's hands. "Whoa....cool."
"I think it's like a lamp or something," Edmund, not taking his eyes off the object.
"I know that, stupid!" snapped Wolfgang.
"Maybe you should make a wish?" joked Edmund.
"I wish you'd shut your trap for five seconds," retorted Wolfgang.
"That can be arranged," hissed an ethereal, female voice.
"Huh?" said the boys simultaneously. Wolfgang let go of the lamp but it continued to hover in the air. As the lamp shook and quaked, a black smoked hissed out of its opening and materialized a pair of beguiling eyes. "Of course...it shall cost you."